Drone attacks are wrong and cowardly, regardless

Drone attacks are wrong and cowardly, regardless

Killing any living things, especially other human beings, is wrong. It seems that there are only a small number of people whose logic is primarily based on compassion who condemn such horrific act taken by the U.S. government.

To speak up against tyranny of the majority and the government when their actions cause suffering is my karmic task in this lifetime. I talk specifically about incidents of civilian killings in Afghanistan which caused me so much heartache and sorrow. The loved ones, either young, old and anyone in between, are taken away from their families and friends. Their possessions, either plain brown houses made out of mud, old clothes, simple kitchen tools, or childhood pictures, are destroyed.

This is my voice that speaks from the first-hand experience during a short eight-month period in the Afghan-Pakistani border along the Durand Line. I met a young 13-year old girl at a NATO hospital in the very first morning after her mother became part of collateral damage in a blotched NATO night raid. Her mother was alive before they all went to bed less than twelve hours ago.

Earlier in my career with the government, I dealt with the defense industry which contributed a surplus to the country's financial well-being. Later, my government career taught me a thing or two about how to manage the country's reputation in the world. Before I retired, my last assignment was to learn about our enemies in Afghanistan. Instead, these enemies taught me that they wouldn't hurt a fly, or me.

The United States and its karmic enemies: Afghanistan and, now, Pakistan, I believe, have to give each other a dose of compassion and a lot of forgiveness and open its heart to accept one another despite all of the differences. Like the way we treat others at personal level -- those whose skin color is lighter than ours; those who speak a dialect; those who worship trees and animals; those whose standard of living is far superior to ours. The list goes on.

I know the pain of being humiliated, looked down upon, spoken of harshly, and ignored. Suffering from losing a family member, a prized possession makes me human. Disappointment, unfulfilled goals, illnesses, physical discomfort, financial debt bring me close to depression. Achieving a career milestone and recognition, raising beautiful and smart children, manage certain things well, or hearing back from someone I care about make me smile. I don't know for sure, but I won't be surprised that all of these are repeated in every lifetime both past and future.

Death happens to everyone. But the journey can be the beginning of another lifetime that brings one an enlightenment, or the end of accumulated past wisdom that leads to circles of suffering all around. One can stop that karmic wheel from spinning.

Monks teach maleness to Thai ‘ladyboys’

Monks teach maleness to Thai ‘ladyboys’

Dawn, a newspaper in Pakistan, banned my comment.  Here's what I wanted to say on the subject of transgender in Thailand.

Like many other religions, Buddhism in Thailand is interpreted and practiced quite differently from Buddha’s original words, . Buddhists in Thailand believe in reincarnation and are superstitious, contrary to Buddha’s teaching about achieving enlightenment. In fact, to respond to this current social trend that a high percentage of Thai males become ladyboys or even successfully get surgery to look like real women, some Thai opinion makers stated that it is a result of past karma. In general, it’s socially acceptable for married Thai men to keep mistresses and girlfriends. As a result, these men’s promiscuity causes heartbreaks, pain and marital problems to their wives, children and those involved. These social commentators went on to say that in this current lifetime these men now suffer from an intense yearning and desire to become women and must feel the pain they had caused in their past life. It’s a payback. Then when they’re in female bodies, they consequently have to accept that fact they ‘re likely to become some guys’ mistresses and live the very same painful life they had once caused others to live through.

Touched by Death

I had a nightmare last night that death touched me on my right arm with its long nails.  It scared me as I tried to turn around to face it from my left side on the bed.  But I couldn't.  It was a struggle that lasted about a minute or so.

Finally, it disappeared.  During that time I chanted all Buddhist hymns I could remember.

Even though my children are still young, they have slowly matured and learned to take care of themselves. My son can cook simple meals and knows how to use kitchen tools.  He helps and protects his younger sister sometimes.  She, on the other hand, can handle house chores.  They can clean their own toilet and bathroom.  They know their way around the house and the neighborhood.

I've gradually lived with less and less and fewer and fewer things.  Preparing children to live on their own is my focus.

Karmic Debtors

I don't claim to know much about karmic debt.  My understanding is that, just like borrowing money from someone, one has to pay it back.  It may take just one life time to pay it back, or many life times to pay if off completely.

One time my Reiki master told me that my son and daughter are back together this time so he can be nicer to her.  She didn't know much about them but was able to accurately describe this relationship.  Her assessment helps me understand his motivation.  I then steer him in directions that are more gentle toward her and, I hope, sustainable in a long run.

My other spiritual teacher talked of a similar story between my ex-husband and me.  He's the father of my children.  As far as I can see until the younger one turns eighteen, I have to deal with him until then, plus or minus when either kids get married or have family get-together events.

Our marriage was a bond bringing two karmic parties to pay off past debt in this life time.  It had its ups and downs like many unions.

Somehow the divorce is an indicator that past wrongs have been righted.  Remaining time is for us to continue to be nice and civil to each other and to do good deeds.

Perhaps this is my take on the meaning of liberation from suffering.  This significant relationship ceased to exist as its wheel of pain stopped moving.

Other one-on-one relationships work in a similar way.  This realization makes me want to be nice to others.  It's not easy when I'm a hot head.  At least I end up becoming more aware of my own thoughts and prejudice and subsequent actions.  I certainly do not want to own anyone anything.  If I can, I want to pay if off right now before the next life time.

Two More Children

We three now have two more kids who come in and out of our house more regularly.  My girl enjoys helping younger kids and read to the neighbor's son and daughter.  During our vacation last summer, my daughter debuted her teaching skills by giving English lessons to Thai pupils.  My boy helped out, too.  Funny how my children didn't pick up my accented English despite being read and sung to in English as newborns until they were five to six years old.

Today we helped the older boy with his homework.  Together they read Jamari's Drum, a children's book illustrated by Malian-American illustrator Baba Wague Diakite, who four years ago came to visit my kids' school in Africa and autographed all of his books for them.  Later they decorated a Flat Stanley cut out, the boy's homework.  By that time, my neighbor dropped off the boy's younger sister at my house.  They all played, paused to finish the cut out decoration, and played some more.

I truly enjoy being with children and help them thrive and grow.  In tropical astrology, my Cancer Moon is in the 10th house.  Interpretations include a career's ups and downs like the moon's monthly movements and working nurturing fields.  Teaching young ones is one of the most joyous things for me to do.  About three weeks ago, we participated in the International Night at my kids' school.  Basically, it is the show and tell and tasting of exotic food.  On our table were a 20-lbs salt tablet hailed from Timbuktu, sand from the Sahara Desert, some books showing what natives and food look like and some relevant information about that country.  It was a success.  Both students and parents saw and touched the salt and the sand.  They were in awe to learn so much in so little time.

Friends in Japan

I mentioned the Reiki session with the bird tweeting last time.  My Reiki master currently lives with her husband in Japan.  He was supposed to be my boss in my last job, but it didn't work out.  He is a retired military officer.  Some of her readings are amazingly accurate.  She described how one of my children was playing like a monkey.  Turned out that one is natural at gymnastics.

She sent words that they were doing fine despite having gone through some eventful earthquake incidents on Saturday, the local time in Tokyo.

People in our life in this life time were, I believe, the same people we knew or met in the past.  She's here to show me some symbolic animals so I can understand meanings of a life path and hopefully can do right things this time.

She's far away in harm's way, but friendship withstands all perils in its path.

Birds

I love watching birds that come to feed off my balcony.  It's rained a lot these past months that a fake grass carpet collected rain water and mold started to grow underneath it.  The outdoor rugs had to be thrown out and that meant that birds would spill all seeds down through flooring gaps to a neighbor's balcony.  So bird feeding trays had to be moved.

Stacked up, the trays became one tray located in what used to be a water lilly pond.  It's wide enough to keep all the seeds in it without causing any trouble to the neighbors.

Here's an interesting part.  Birds seem to know that the trays are not where they were before.  They looked for them.  Once spotting the tray with food inside, they inched closer and closer gingerly until they got to their meal.

A pair of doves started to come about a month ago.  Sometimes darker color, bigger birds join little ones.  They chirp incessantly.

About four months ago during a Reiki session, a bird perched on an outdoor clock in the deck and tweeted for about 30 minutes, about half of the session time.  Soon afterward I started to write to let out mental energy.

Physical Body

My throat has bothered me for quite sometime.  I'm thinking about getting that taken care of.  There are a few countries that cater specifically to medical tourists.  Without health insurance coverage, I just have to fly over there and check in.  First I have to do some research to find out how much it will cost me and how long it will take to recover.

I can't complain about this body that my soul occupies in this lifetime.  Every part is more or less in its natural state.  My long hair permed only once in my life when I was 22 now has both gray and dark brown colors. Last year my hands and feet got the first pedicure and manicure.  My legs are strong and let me walk for 2 to 4 miles daily.  My joint and bone flexibility helps me get better with yoga everyday.  Eczema has been gone for years.  Everything seems to be functioning well except for the tonsil problem.

Accustomed to death rituals in buddhism, I plan to have my body cremated after certain body parts get donated.

Addiction

I was addicted to smoking and drinking during my college years.  The moderate drinking continued for 20 years while smoking was ceased cold turkey after I graduated.  I  neither drink nor smoke.  I don't touch caffeine, either.  But a few times a year, soda with caffeine keeps me alert when I have to drive on the long stretch of a highway for 10 hours a day for a few consecutive days.  The only vice is chocolate.

My neighbor asked me to help locate an alcohol treatment center where her husband is receiving a treatment.  Unfortunately, I couldn't find it despite calling a couple of these places that I thought would match the location she initially gave me.

I know a thing or two about addiction, especially to cigarettes and alcohol.  Lucky for me that I was able to quit both without much trouble.

Sadly, a current addiction is a struggle.  Going through withdrawal symptoms alone relies so much on inner strength and determination.

Quantum Leaps

My life path is programed to perform quantum leaps.  We all change all the time.

Physically, I have changed so much these past ten years.  My old colleagues did not recognize me at all. People who just meet me think that I'm much, much younger than my actual age although I had looked my age all my life until two years ago.  Except for taking better care of my skin from the sun exposure and getting my skin moles removed, I benefit from some weight loss as a result of eating healthier and a sculptured body from proper exercises.  As if it were some kind of a shape shifter that made by someone who snapped fingers directly at me.

My life experience is beyond my control.  Karma is at play half of the time.  If I have relevant education and professional experience for a job I apply for, it's likely that I'll make the cut for an interview.  If I do well in the interview, I'll advance to be short listed.  I reap what I sow, exactly.  Otherwise, I cannot even steer my life boat to directions I want no matter how hard I try.  In fact, how life happens baffles me.

During my first few years in the U.S., I lived with my mother and her new husband.  I learned English and trivial knowledge by watching TV show Jeopardy with my stepfather and marveled at how many correct answers he got.  Many of successful contestants are teachers, writers, and diplomats, who call themselves Foreign Service Officers.  I was very impressed by these FSOs and wishing that I were smart like them.  Being a diplomat was a far fetched dream for someone who didn't speak English well and knew little about those subjects in the foreign service tests.  I couldn't even write a coherent paragraph.  Let alone an essay to makes sense and express my thought clearly.

They say to be careful with what you wish for.  I'm never going to be smart.  I know that.  Nonetheless, the other wish came true one day.  I ended up working in a diplomatic capacity by being in the right place and the right time.  It didn't last long.  It was a miracle that all of these were taking place and how I got in and out.

I wonder if I had rubbed that magic lamp and asked the Genie to grant me a wish, and it did.  If any of these is a replay of "nothing lasts forever," I get it now.

The Genie also bestowed me with credible prosperity.  My various careers did not make me rich.  I was never made the head of any organization.  Except for entry-level jobs during my first five years in the United States, I advanced to a middle-level position at most as I didn't have enough time and experience to rise to top management in each career.  But later each career came with perks and gave me a brush with wealth.  Unexpectedly.

I was put in first class and business class flights flying across the ocean.  One time I had to ask a flight attendant how to eat caviar.  After putting a dab of caviar on a cracker and adding to it a splash of lemon juice, she also gave me a glass champagne while we were more than 30,000 feet above the ground.  On another flight I was given a massage in the business class.  In two other flights, I sat next to someone who was prominent in his field in his home country each time.  In many, many occasions, I met with people that enriched my life and expanded my knowledge of the physical and spiritual worlds.

With a stroke of luck, I usually live in a nice neighborhood.  Our house is usually one of the poorest.

Spiritually, I have gone from an impatient, hot tempered woman to someone who is not bothered by anything.  Realization that a soul has to go through all experiences of pain and suffering as well as joy and happiness is liberating.

Illusions are a test to remind me that none is real.  Drastic changes can be both frightening and welcoming.  Forceful transformations leave me in awe at the power of Divine Being.

As much as I'm grateful at the depth and richness of my life experience, I give up trying to understand how my life make quantum leaps.  Perhaps because how I look (to be) and what I possess (to have) is impermanence.

And I have all the proofs that are etched in my soul.

Letting Others Pass

I'm calmer than before.  My ego is shrinking.  I still drive fast though.  These past few weeks when other drivers tailgate me in the far left lane, I'm happy to move to the right lane and let them pass.  That's a big improvement from older days when I'd just purposely block the lane justifying that I was going as fast as the flow of the fastest moving cars on the road.

We all are going to the same destination.  There are so many routes to take.

Along the Path to Nirvana

The path to spiritual enlightenment is full of sufferings.  Dilemmas to choose between materialism and spiritualism will always be there.  I think I'll try to balance the two and enjoy the journey.  This blog is about experience along the path to Nirvana.

The journey begins.